Home Articles How to Compliment Yourself
How to Compliment Yourself

Look into a mirror and say to your reflection, "I love you". No, don't laugh, this is serious! Find a mirror, look into your eyes and say those three little words. Don't just say it - mean it!

How did you go?

Did you think it would be easy, but then found you couldn't say the words? Did you find yourself muttering the words but looking away from your reflection to say them? If so, you're not alone. For the majority of us this is actually a very difficult exercise. (So, congratulations, if you had no problem.)

Many years ago, a workshop facilitator challenged each of us to do the same exercise. I thought it would be a breeze … until I stood in front of the mirror. Then I found I couldn't say anything. Well, actually, I could say, "I … I … I …" before I walked away saying something like, "This is ridiculous." By the way, it would be a little over a year before I could.

People whose self-esteem and self-respect have taken a beating cannot look into the mirror and say "I love you", let alone look in the mirror and say those three little words with feeling. It's because our self-talk has become so negative, that when we are faced with saying some nice about, or to, ourselves that we have problems.

How you talk to yourself is incredibly important. It defines how you treat yourself. You can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy depending on what you say. And what you say is tied in to the beliefs you have about yourself.

Let's use the last three articles as the bases for another couple of exercises.

We've explored why there is no such thing as a mistake, failure or 'should'.

So, go back to the mirror, look into your eyes and say, "You have made so many mistakes in your life, you should be ashamed of yourself." Jot down on a sheet of paper how you felt when you said this. Did you have any reaction in the body? If so, where and what?

Now say to your reflection, "You are such a failure!" Again, jot down on a sheet of paper how you felt, whether you had any reaction in the body and what it was.

Here's Challenge Number 1: say to the person in the mirror, "You have created so many learning opportunities in your life, and you are stronger for them. I am proud of you."

How did you feel when you said this? Did you have any reaction in the body? If so, what was your body's response?

Challenge Number 2: tell your reflection this: "You are a success, and you go from strength to strength." What were your feelings and body responses?

As you can see, the first two exercises had you saying something negative, and the challenges were to say something positive. If you had a problem with the I-love-you exercise you probably found the negative statements much easier to say.

It's a sad fact that in our society, we find it much easier to accept criticism than compliments. I'm sure you've said to someone, "That's a great shirt, it really suits you" and the response has been, "What this old thing?". How did you react the last time a compliment was paid to you? Did you accept it graciously, or make a negative remark in response?

The only truly acceptable response to a compliment is "Thank you" – accompanied by a smile, of course!

Do you ever take the time to compliment yourself? Do you talk to yourself as you would a friend? Or is it easier to criticise who you are, what you do, and how you look? If so, we are going to work on changing your attitude to yourself.

Compliments are a great way of making you (the receiver) feel good. They boost the morale. They increase the self-confidence. Compliments can have exactly the same effect on the giver of the compliment – when the compliment is received with a simple thank you and smile.

Here's how you can change the way you talk to yourself … EVERY MORNING after you have dressed, look into the mirror and pay yourself a compliment. "That's a great colour on you", "That colour matches your eyes", "You look fantastic!"

EVERY EVENING before you go to bed, look into the mirror and pay yourself a compliment for ONE thing you did that day. No matter whether you cooked a family meal which was devoured in minutes, or whether you managed to finish fiscal statements in time for a board meeting, choose one thing you did that day which pleased you and made you feel good. And if you truly cannot find one little thing, compliment yourself on being the best you could be all day.

This simple (or not so simple!) exercise will bring you heaps of benefits. For a start, you begin and end your day on a high. During the day you will find yourself looking for opportunities to hand out compliments. You will find yourself becoming more positive – and because you are looking for positive things to say and do, positive things come looking for you.

Other benefits include: a change in posture (you will stand straighter), a change in attitude (you become more confident), a change in behaviour (your language and action will improve). In short – you will become a much happier person.

There's a spin-off to this, that I should warn you about …. you will find yourself pulling faces at your reflection! Don't be surprised when it happens because it's a very normal (and expected) consequence of becoming happier with who you are. We laugh and joke with our friends, so why not laugh and joke with ourselves?

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Dearest one,

Greeting to you, my name is Pricca.Robert, I am 23 yrs and I am Ivory Coast nationality and I live in Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire. I am the daughter of Mr.Daniel.Robert,a great businessman and farmer from coffee and cocoa. Indeed, my father was assassin by his partners who I believed they profit from his death. And unfortunately for me, I'm orphans child now without my family. As the only daughter of my parents, I normally bee the beneficiary to the total sum of (US$ 9.700, 000) NINE MILLION SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS that my father deposited in a security company here in Cote d'Ivoire , for this I am pleading you, please kindly read this letter of my life and have a heart of kindness to help me to transfer my money into your account in your country for investment so that I will be able to come to you to follow up with my high school education.

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By Hari Om, 2013-03-02 01:48:15

Sub: - Regarding fraud & racketeering in the name of IRDA.


With reference to the above mentioned subject, I want to attract your kind attention towards fraudulent behavior of some notorious persons who are swindling the innocent people by investing their money in various Private Life Insurance Companies. I am also a victim of this concoction.

An unknown person contacted me over cell phone. He introduced himself as “Nitin Bhardwaj(08459701832)”, Head, Logging department, IRDA, New Delhi. He told that a benefit of Rs.185000/- had been declared on my ongoing ICICI Prudential Life policy. I ignored his call. Then he again called me and reminded me that some other person from his department had informed me two month back about this offer but I had rejected. Now an agent of some Insurance Company is going to claim for this offer because you have given him signed authority letter. Firstly I doubted him so he took me in conference and make me talk to his senior officer Mr. Rishabh Tripathi (07838779499) at IRDA Bangalore. Who confirmed that the call was being made from IRDA only. Mr. Rishabh Sharma then added that “You can still claim for the benefit. But for this you have to purchase a policy of Rs.35000/- from any one of following Insurance Companies but remember tomorrow is last day for claim”.

1. Kotak Life Insurance
2. Birla Sun Life Insurance
3. HDFC Life
5. Bharati AXA Life.

He assured that the invested money (Rs.35000/-) will be credited back in my a/c with above mentioned benefit of Rs.185000/- after 72 days. I agreed and next day Mr. Ganshyam (09455036633) from Kotak Life Insurance visited me, completed formalities and collected the cheque of Rs.35000.00 on behalf of Kotak Life Insurance.

Same day After,Mr. Rishabh Tripathi pursued me once again in second week of October ’2011 and misled me to purchase one more policy from Kotak Life Insurance of Rs.45000 Then release benefit 3.5 lakh with is 60days.

On 15 April, 2012, when 72 days period completed, Anurag Gupta (09654240763) , who was telling himself from IRDA fund department, rang me and said that the benefit which was committed by Mr. Rishabh Tripathi Is ready to be credited in your account against the policies purchased by you. He demanded for BTC (Benefit Transfer Code) and Bank a/c number. I informed him that I have no BTC. Then he suggested me to contact my proposer i.e. Mr. Rishabh Sharma. I dialed Rishabh Sharma and demanded for BTC. Then he told me to further invest Rs.30000.00 to get BTC. Nothing to say how hard I faced arranging the money for all above mentioned policies the details of those are as following:

1. Policy name- Kotak Capital Multiplier Plan (UIN-107N011V01), Policy No. 02377267, Date of Commencement. 4.10.2011, Premium amount 35042.00, Policy Holder – Achal Kumar Teweri

2. Policy name- Kotak Assured Income Plan (UIN-107N069V01), Policy No. 02392606, Date of Commencement. 20/10/2011, Premium amount 45020.00, Policy Holder – Achal Kumar Tewari

After that Mr. Rishabh Tripathi never responded my call. On January, 2012 I received a call from Mr. Suresh Nair (08587081404). He told that he is assistant of Rishabh Tripathi. He said that the process to get the BTC went waste because you had not invested the money in desired amount. Rishabh Tripathi is not available in New Delhi due to family problem. All pending files of benefit distribution are being forwarded towards RBI to be finalized. He demanded money in cash along with photocopy of PAN card, address proof & saving bank a/c no. through First Flight Courier at the address D/1092, Sector 63, Noida addressing to Mr. Sanjeev Kothari. Since I had invested a huge amount and did not want to lose that amount so I sent money in cash too at the desired address to invest in the policy.

The different land line and cell phones used in this cheating are as under.

Cell phone nos.
1.Rishabh Tripathi – 07838779499
2.Unknow - 08459701832
3. Nitin Bhardwaj – 08459066652
4. Suresh nair – 08587081404
5. Anuraj Gupta – 09654240763
6. Atul Pathak – 08459079250
7 unknow- 08459069151
8 Vikram Chauhan 0845916628,08459083114
9 Chakravarti 08459019540
10 Anil Bakshi- 08459784311
11 unknow 08595420809
12 Agent Archana Jha 09311258325
13 Kotak Employee 09999844675
14 Kotak local Agent support 9455036633

As I mentioned earlier above mentioned investments have been made by conspiracy of Kotak Life Insurance Company and Agencies concerned. Because just after each call of Rishabh Sharma I received a call from Life Insurance Company agents / representatives stating that “It is informed by our H.Q. that you want to purchase a policy from our company. We are sending our representative for the formalities on such and such time”.

Sir, I complain many time, But Kotak Company & agent say , “15 Day free looking period is gone, This is your choice policy continue or lapse.

Please help policy amt Refund & any action Fraud Agent & supporting person.

Thanks & regards

Achal Kumar Tewari
14/626 Murad Ali Lane
Nai basti


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